First things first, 2018, right! It is almost February and it has been a most interesting 3 weeks. The world is a wild and crazy place, my friends! I don't know about you, but it feels like we are on the top of the roller coaster, unsure when it will tip into that free fall feeling. Having said that, for all the hurtful and hatemongering that is out there, I have experienced mostly love, encouragement and joy.
For me, 2018 so far has felt weird, to be honest. 12 months ago, I was rock solid in my beliefs. Now, after spending the first half of 2017 feeling broken beyond restoration, and the second half actually defying that feeling, I am better than rock solid.. chose a surface, and make it non-stick! ;-)
The first 6 months of 2017 were a result of quite a few years of letting people make me feel I was worthless, not worthy of their time, and believing it to be true (for whatever inner demon's "evidence based" reason made it true). I have learned (for the most part.. and not 100% good at it.. yet..) to stop apologising for things that are me. Things I didn't know I had even been apologising for!
I have some very dear and loved friends who stuck by me through 2017. I am forever grateful for their kind love, tough love and unwavering love, even when I am pretty sure I was getting on my own nerves! ;-)
So - I can wax lyrical on the hows and whys, but here is the bottom line (in no particular order...):
- I love my family and friends above all.
- I talk about death and dying.. I work amongst it. It is a part of life. In fact, I am a good person to talk to about it because it doesn't bother me to talk about it.
- I coexist in the same body with Type 1 Diabetes - since 1982. Despite the amount of info out there, no one else knows more about it than me, especially my relationship with it.
- I love Buffy and Star Trek and Star Wars and Charmed and Green Lantern: TAS and Harry Dresden and well, just sci-fi, and am interested in the existential issues they raise.
- I swear like a sailor.
- My sense of humour is dark and inappropriate. It has been heavily influenced by the industry I work in, and the time I spent with Michael.
- I find farts funny.
- I cried with laughter when I got my finger stuck in the sharps bin at work!
- I love american football. (Also thanks to Michael)
- I love cheeseburgers.
- I love winter.
- I loved living in Wisconsin - especially having my birthday in the fall..
- I love David Bowie.
- I love P!nk.
- Because of BtVS, I discovered the music of James Marsters and Ghost of the Robot, and have new music loves. (And exposure to a bunch of fascinating people!)
- I love critical thinkers who are passionate.. usually the villains in books, movies and tv shows... they are so much more interesting than the white hats..
- I am told I am too much - too independent, too loud, too fat, too inappropriate, too irresponsible, too blah blah blah - insert your criticism here... I don't believe it any more. It reflects your fear, not mine.
- I am a great nurse.
- I am studying toward my Master in Palliative Care.
- I am a good cook.
- I love British murder mysteries, especially Agatha Christie, Vera, Midsomer Murders, Lewis and Morse.
No doubt there is more.. I don't understand the world. I certainly don't seem to fit into it. It seems that to fit into it, you are required to conform to a label, live in a box, make it easier for others... But it is those who don't, that change it.
I think I will go back and revisit those tangential writings about villains and their appeal..
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