So bright, I gotta wear shades! Well.. true for now - I finally have both eyes balanced. Cataract surgery for my right eye has been successful, and I now endure the adjustment to being not shortsighted, but 'long sighted'.
It has become a thing, experiencing things that truly leave me speechless.. well, maybe not speechless - more like not being able to find the words to describe what I am experiencing. I have been wearing glasses since I was 13 or 14.. seeing the world without glasses is incredible. I have never thought wearing glasses was something that bothered me. At least, not aesthetically. Now I do not have to wear them to experience basic sight.. apparently, there was more of an impact on me than I thought!
I have adjusted to not wearing glasses with alarming speed! I thought it would be a longer and more frustrating process. It would seem not. I am looking forward to getting to the optometrist in about a month to have my eyes tested to get a proper pair of glasses
The feeling that surprised me most is the freedom and lightness I feel not wearing my glasses all the time. It is difficult to express the feeling when you weren't aware that it is a reaction to something you weren't aware of. This sensation has been something of a trend these last 12 months or so. We all know that hindsight is a judgemental bitch, who tells us what we should have done when we have considered all of the things - except that when you are on the reality side of the situation, you do the best with what you have.
I am looking forward to writing about some of the things I have worked out as I have recovered from the trauma that was my nursing career. Yes - there is a disclaimer that I met good people, I loved my role, however, the way the system and the culture runs, it is a toxic and abusive relationship for me. I still have moments when I kick myself and think "OMFG! what were you thinking?! Why did you keep giving it a chance?" I know all the excuses - I can change it from the inside, I do it for my patients, if I am there to do it, I know that the level of care and compassion I expect with be delivered by at least one person (I know, I know...), they keep telling me that it will be better when once this happens.. but it doesn't happen, it doesn't get better. And slowly, but surely, you die inside. The passion you have to help people.. ANY people disappears. I can admit it, I was drowning, and I am also strong enough to admit now that if I had stayed working in healthcare, I would not be here to be waffling on here with my egocentric ramblings 😝 I am hoping in time, I will move passed this, to more topical things, but hey! you gotta start somewhere!😁
My house is full of music and mess. I am being creative and involved again. And I have to say.. being able to appreciate my 17" computer monitor better than I ever have is another added perk! 😊
Some música latina that features on my playlist:
JLo's tribute to Selena at the 2015 Billboard Latin Music Awards
Ricky Martin, Paloma Mami - Qué Rico Fuera
Carlos Vives, Ricky Martin - Canción Bonita
PS: a friend mentioned that they thought I would be more confident without the glasses - and I think that is the sensation I have been trying to pinpoint. It is not to say that I do not have confidence - but this is a different type of confidence - one I was unfamiliar with. No - I don't have a better description for it - yet!
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