The road is long...

 A touching of base, if you will.

 The last couple of years have gone so quickly!  So much change, and yet, sort of none at all!

 I surrendered my nursing registration effective January 2023.  It was quite tidy, since my registration commenced in January 2005.  It was bittersweet.  Sad to leave a vocation that I love, but it was literally killing me.  I am strongly of the opinion that if I had stayed, I would not be here, so I guess that one way or another, removing myself from nursing was on the cards for 2023.  I have moments when I miss it, because I was immensely proud to be a nurse, and despite the circumstances that made me leave it all behind, I was a great nurse.  When you aren't a sheep, you are an easy target in these kind of vocations. 

 While there is sadness at times, there is no regret.  Walking away was one of the best things I have ever done for myself.  Since then, I have found work in a completely different area, in a workplace that is supportive, flexible and just as challenging.  It actually incorporates the aspects of nursing that I love - talking to people about the issues they have, and assisting/guiding them to/through a solution.  I love it when I hear the penny drop and they get it and see the situation with new eyes.  You do not have to be a nurse to appreciate that in other disciplines.  

A lot of the last couple of years has been catching up with myself, to be honest.  Whilst I loved being a nurse, I hadn't realised the cost and the toll it took on me.  Adding to the deconstruction of years of suppressed emotion on my mental health, there has been a toll on my physical health.  40 odd years of type 1 diabetes will do that to you.  

The biggest change in relation to diabetes for me is that I now have an insulin pump.  I have dug my heels in for a LOOOONG time not having one.. and I just wasn't getting on top of things.  My diabetes educator (DE) and endo convinced me that giving the pump a go to see how I manage on it.  If I didn't like it, I could stop.  Well - let's just say, there is no going back!  For those in the diabetes know, my HbA1C has gone from sitting in the 10-12 range pre CGM/DAFNE, to 9-10 pre insulin pump (started June 26, 2024) to 7-8 now.  NEVER in my whole diabetic life, did I think I would have blood sugars that were in range 70% of the time!  I blows my mind!  So yeah, the diabetes currently is the least of my problems.  The damage, however, that I have accumulated throughout my life is making itself known.  Strangely enough, my kidneys are tip top!  I had cataract surgery on both eyes almost 2 years ago - so that has been a games changer, however, I still have diabetic damage that requires courses of eye injections at times.  But, it works - I respond well to it, and be improvement in my blood sugars may improve the time between courses.  Prior to my cataract surgery, it had been 4 years between courses - so that isn't so bad! ;-)

Maybe, now my brain isn't being held hostage by nursing any longer, and I have started remembering the things that I like to do with my free time, rather than work and sleep because being awake outside of work was unpleasant, I am reading again, listening to the radio and music again, engaging in things that I like to do again.  

I have had a friend living with me for about 6 months.  I was worried about that because I have pretty much lived on my own since I left home.  This friend was the right person for me to live with.  They are moving to the mainland later this year.  I will miss them, but I think the time we have lived together has strengthened our friendship, and I look forward to seeing what their next adventure leads to.  There will always be a spare room for them in my home.     

Well - in my usual style after a long break, this is probably TMI and very health status-y.  Given the last 6 months, there will be more passionate and outraged posts, I suspect, as we witness the US collapse in on itself, and watch in wonder at the insidious infiltration of the extremists who are eerily becoming the very same monsters they think they are talking about.  Their words are truth about themselves, that they are assigning to marginalised communities so they feel superior when they are tired of feeling so insignificant.  

 Do not give them the power to step on you, you are taller than how high they can lift their feet.